A Playlist for No One
Updated: Mar 27, 2022
Listen to: Little Anne
I am currently listening Tea Soaked Letter by Anna Burch, the first song on a 52 minute playlist I dedicated to a girl in my Chinese language class, Annika, or as she preferred to be called in Chinese, (Xiao An), which translates to "Little Anne", hence the playlist title. Another playlist I have dedicated to a girl that she will never get to hear.
This follows a long series where I have had the algorithms bless me with a series of songs at a time I was communicating with a girl I was interested in that I thought encapsulated my feelings and mixed it in with a healthy side of their personality. In short, they were on my mind. But with one exception, of the dozen or so playlists I have dedicated to these girls Taylor Swift style, none have reached their ears.
But the thing is. That's ok.
When I make a playlist and slap the name of whichever Tinder hussy has happened to capture my attention by the simple act of, you know, responding to my messages, I know full well I am not doing this for anyone, but myself. To guard a slight memory of that time in my life that is set it stone.
I mean would the girl have even liked this playlist? The fourth song is called "Star Fucker", "Totally Mutual Feeling" is also a pretty abrasive song. Not sure what Jack Stauber or the Jamaica Queens are doing on there except to pad out the length. The playlist is mostly dudes! Yet despite these points of weaknesses, I think a lot of myself, and how I project myself onto a relationship is revealed, hell, maybe too much so. Tea Soaked Letter captured my neurotic romantic conceptions I conjured on this girl. Astral Planes is a beautifully liminal so warning against expectations. 2012 by Soccer Mommy has that androgynous energy that drives my connection with my romantic partners.. Even the aforementioned "Star Fucker" and "Totally Mutual Feeling" both contain certain sentiments that I share about relationships, sex, and life.
This definitely isnt a playlist you send someone after your first date.
That being said, any girl that I did date, would necessary have to like the playlist that I made for her, abrasive songs and all. In fact if there is one thing I can guarantee, each one these girls would have liked the playlist I made for them. The one time I did get to play one of my playlists for a girl (The limEy) she did very much enjoy it (though apparently not enough😂😂😭).
It is enough for me to have written the memory of someone I was connected with, no matter how deeply or (as usually the case) how momentarily we were connected, I can revisit that time, set in stone.
So as I close out the draft of this article while simultaneously closing out the playlist I guess I'll have no choice but to follow the advice given in Track #13, Uptown Boys:
High enough to never come down, to never look back, head into my next town now.
and maybe make some Easy Money too.
Here are some of my other dedicated playlists that at even though the girls they were meant may never got to listen to them, at least you can:
Weekend for Nothing - The playlist of a relationship on the verge of collapse
Incredible, Too - Doomed to friendship
For Elena Fuck Yo - I may have been a little frustrated
There's a hole in my rocket - Oh, Aliza
Her Loss - Dedicated to all the women who 🙈 me
The limEy - She actually listened to this one!